LDS women are expected to be “nice,” “deferential” and “accommodating to men’s needs,” but also are responsible for “fending off men’s advances,” the therapist says. They are the “sober drivers” in these interactions, she says, “more responsible for any sexual interactions by the way they dress, behave and setting limits on when to stop.” “Femininity is constructed as nonsexual.” Women, on the other hand, get the idea that they may be sexual beings but don’t have desire the way men do, Finlayson-Fife says. “They are the actors in sexual situations, but they are also taught they can’t control it.” Men are told they have a natural sex drive, which is inherent to being male, she says. Though Mormon teachings call on both genders to be chaste before marriage, too often LDS men and women hear different messages about sex, says Chicago-based Mormon therapist Jennifer Finlayson-Fife. I knew was wrong, but I knew I was in the wrong, too.” Meagan Leyva, BYU student Double bind “If I hadn’t done that, this wouldn’t have happened. Getting rid of predators, especially in Mormon culture, he says, means rejecting some longstanding presumptions, including the belief that women are responsible for men’s sexual behavior, that they lie about their experiences to escape accountability or that they would always be safe if they simply obeyed church or school standards.
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They know what they are doing and know how to use tools the culture gives them.” It is important that contemporary colleges teach faculty and students to understand the definition of consent and that permission for sexual activity can be revoked at any time.Ī fairly small number of sexual predators are responsible for a large percentage of these rapes, says Austin, a Mormon and BYU graduate who works as provost and vice president of academic affairs at Newman University, a Catholic college in Wichita, Kan. “More often, women are raped by men that they know, or trust, or have relationships with.” No longer is rape viewed as a crime committed primarily by “a large man in a trench coat who approaches a woman late at night and forces her at knifepoint to engage in sexual acts,” says college administrator Michael Austin. This comes at a time when Americans nationwide are grappling with victim-blaming “rape culture,” what it means and how to eradicate it.